The Most Important Questions You Will Ever Ask by Amy Potavin

It happens to each of us, sooner or later.

Inevitably, there comes a time when each one of us is left
alone in the dark, and each of us must choose his next steps.
Perhaps now is that moment for you. Maybe you have
reached a turning point in your relationship with your
significant other. Perhaps now is the moment that you realize
the company and people you THOUGHT you worked for lack
the integrity you believed they possessed.

Maybe it is something more personal, such as a medical crises
that you, alone, must overcome. Or perhaps it is that sudden
realization when you know that all your work, all your effort, is
simply NOT going to reap the rewards you had planned.

So, the natural question is ¡°what do I do now?¡±

When you reach this point, it becomes frightening. The path
becomes cloudy and the road unclear. You begin to doubt
your own internal beliefs and desires and look to external
sources for clarity, guidance and support. We look to others
for what is acceptable, desirable and appropriate. And why
do we do this?

We do this because each one of us is conditioned from birth to
do so. Our combined cultures, as varied as they may be, all
have one simple thing in common. All cultures mandate
conformity; a shedding of the individual and an acceptance of
the mainstream majority.

Now, please do not misinterpret this message. I am not
suggesting that conformity is a bad thing. The undeniable fact
is simply that conformity is necessary for civilized society to
exist. Were it not for the phenomena of conformity, social
norms such as the laws of the collective ¡°People¡± against
murder, theft and assault, would not exist. Without such
norms, it would be impossible for people to live together and
interact in society, because when there are no boundaries,
any and all interaction, including violence, is acceptable. So,
no, I am NOT suggesting that conformity is bad.

I am, however, suggesting that conformity can become, and is
often used as a scapegoat. Because, when you reach a
turning point in your life, and you begin to look outward at the
external sources for direction, it becomes very easy to ignore
your own beliefs in favor of following the direction of the
majority. The truth is that cultural and social expectations
influence the course of your life choices. We rarely stop to
question whether the choices we have made are placing us
on the path that we want to take, or are keeping us in line
with expectations set by others.

By turning this blind eye, by failing to examine your own
beliefs and values, you are let off the hook in a sense. You
are not required to think about your own circumstances and
the choices that you made which lead to your current
circumstances. You do not have to face the fact that you
chose to enter into a relationship with your significant other,
perhaps while knowing all the while that you eventually would
not be able to accept some of his or her behaviors. But you
did it anyway, because you told yourself that it was time to
settle down; or your parents expected it; or it was what
everyone was doing at the time.

You do not have to face the fact that you choose to work for
that executive that you KNOW is deceitful and insincere,
because you can tell yourself that it is just a job; that the pay
is good and it pays the rent. Never mind the fact that each
time you see one of the executive's half-truths, it destroys
part of your own integrity.

You do not have to deal with the fact that you are now having
trouble with heart disease because you ignored your diet and
never exercised, because you can tell yourself that you
always put your family first, or your job was more important.
You do not have to examine the fact that all the work you
have done to get that promotion is causing stress in your
family life because you can tell yourself ¡°it's all part of the
American Dream, right? You work hard, you get promoted,
and you make a better life, right?¡± Never mind that your
family is falling apart.

The fact is, your basic beliefs about yourself, and about the
world around you, are both the SOURCE OF YOUR PERCIEVED
PROBLEMS as well as the source of your perceived joy and
fulfillment.

YOUR beliefs and YOUR choices determine how you respond to
the reality that YOU have created. You can choose to be a
victim of the circumstances that have brought you to this
turning point, or you can choose to learn from these
experiences and the prior choices you have made.

Only you can choose a different life; a different experience.
And only you can know what the right choice is for you. So
now that you are at that crossroad, the most important thing
to remember is that life is all about choices. When you get to
the bottom of all your indecision, all your apprehension, every
situation in life is a choice for you to make. You choose how
you react to these situations. It is your choice how you live
your life.

You knew it would happen. Sooner or later.

You knew, deep down, that you would be right here, facing
that decision. That one decision you NEVER dreamed you
have to make. That one choice that will be the difference
between continuing to live your life in mediocrity and
conformity, or living your true purpose for your authentic self.
Now that it is here, you are afraid; you are unsure.

Ask yourself, ¡°Is THIS the life I dreamed I would have?¡±
Chances are, it is not. So now, all you need to do is ask
yourself ¡°What do I need to do to get there?¡±

These are the questions you must seek answers to. Instead
of asking yourself ¡°What do I do now?¡± look to ¡°Where to I
want to go? Who do I want to become?¡± Answer those
questions; make those choices, and you will create the reality
you dreamed you would have.

? 2006, Amy M. Potavin

About The Author

Ms. Amy Potavin's business is to provide the means that allows you to discover, unlock and harness your hidden talents, inspiring you to live fully AND purposefully; to acknowledge your achievements and accept your downfalls; and allow yourself the opportunity to BELIEVE in your abilities and SUCCEED in your professional and personal life. Amy accepts letters from the public at CoachAmy@Believe-Network.com. Visit her at http://www.believe-network.com.