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5 Steps to Re-charge When You Feel Like Giving Up
Even the most mild-mannered of us have days when we want to spray paint over happy face buttons and strangle the next person who comes close to suggesting that there is always a silver lining. Even those of us who are completely dedicated to doing WHATEVER it takes to reach our goals have days when all feels hopeless and it seems as if our ability to achieve these goals is rapidly spinning out of control. While being on track and on target certainly feels better, these kinds of days are going to happen to each of us. The real trick is not to let those days turn into weeks or months or, even worse, to let those days deceive you into believing that your goals are unachievable. 1. Allow yourself to acknowledge your feelings As much as I would like to tell you differently, ignoring how you are feeling only gets you into more trouble! The sooner that you learn to recognize that you are starting to get out of synch, the easier it is to pull out of a downward spiral. Continuing to push forward anyway just means that you will be falling much faster and harder when the bottom drops out. 2. Take a Day Off When you have ‘lost ground’ feeling bad or unmotivated, the last thing you think you have time for is to take a day off from activities that will lead you to your goal. BUT, how effective can you really be when you ‘gut it out’ day after day after day after day? How much more could you get done if you gave yourself a small break? Instead of pushing harder, consciously take a step back. I promise that it isn’t the beginning of the end – it is only a pause. Even if you literally can’t take a full day off, consciously give yourself permission to step back from your goals. Allow yourself some breathing space. 3. Get it OUT Acknowledging your feelings is one thing – but how does that really help? Once you have some breathing room, allow yourself to work on letting go. Angry at someone or a situation? Write an angry letter that doesn’t get mailed. Frustrated at yourself? Write it all out. Now read it as if you had written it to describe your best friend’s behavior – how does that change your view? Can’t put words to it? Rent a movie that will make you belly laugh or sob the whole way through – that will release a lot of stuck energy. 4. Shoot for neutral Once it’s all out, allow your goal to be to come back to neutral. Sure, joy and optimism is where you eventually want to end up, but for now, allow yourself the gift of accepting neutral. After all, this is a long way from angry, sad, and frustrated ~ and much more attainable in this moment. 5. Recommit to TODAY Now that it’s all out and you are in a better place, re-commit to whatever part of your goal that you can accomplish today. Long term planning has its place. But, for right now, focus on this moment and this moment only. Then celebrate as you meet each accomplishment. The way to meet any goal is to create conscious choices and actions. This formula is the same for times when you aren’t meeting your goals. Too many of us slip into beating ourselves up when we slip out of goal-achieving behaviors. This sets up unconscious resistance. The harder you push, the more resistance there is, and the farther you get from your goals ~ even though you feel like you are working twice as hard. By making a conscious decision to put yourself through these steps the next time you feel like giving up, you will give yourself just the space you need to make a quantum leap ahead towards meeting your goals – and you won’t have to re-invest in new happy face buttons or mend relationships either!
This article was posted on January 10, 2006
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