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Reflections on Mars and Venus
Since it came out in the early 1990s, the relationship book, “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus” has sold million of copies. The book and the author John Gray have since achieved almost cult status worldwide. John Gray has since become the world number 1 relationship author and speaker. Being a book on relationships of sexes, “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus” had never appeal to a guy like me. To me, it was simply one of those self-help books to take up from the shelves under the ‘stressed’ circumstances between your partner/spouse and you and you want solution to your relationship problems. Indeed I was caught in a web of estranged relationship which prompted me to go for it as it was the only alternative cheap solution than finding a psychologist. Like many others, I have found my life and some of my relationships reflected among the pages. The book was very helpful in clearing up some of the causes of failed romances in my past. When relationships are faced with challenges and problems, many of us will always try to shut ourselves out and think that our problems are unique to us and no one could help us. We would often blame others but ourselves. I am one of them. I wish I could say that I can learn from my mistakes but only time will tell. Ever since I read the book, I began to see things differently and have a more open and forgiving not only to my loved ones but to others. My relationship has benefited tremendously. Frankly speaking, if not for that instant of impulse to get the book, I will be still in my previous state of confusion over my relationship and my attitudes toward life and love. John Gray explains the psychological differences between men and women particularly on the difference between what they say and what they mean. Being a psychologist, he has manged to use a huge pool of real-life examples from his own therapy sessions as counselor to help us understand and perceive situations from these different view points. In the book, John Gray interestingly called the Men as "Martians" and Women as "Venusians" who both speak different languages. They are only remotely connected to English. The “Martians” Men like to filter life's information. Gray explains that when faced with problems or challenges, the “Martians” Men like to isolate themselves, chew on them, determine its scope, and try to solve it on my own. They do not others to offer help to them and want others to trust them that they can handle the situation and resolve them rationally. It would seems to be a great insult to “Martians” Men if others try to solve their problems as they think that they are better at solving their own problems than others. The "Venusians" Women are totally different from “Martians” Men. They like to share their problems with others and people to help them if they encounter problems. Both sexes interpreted same verbal words and body languages differently. Sometimes, the relationship problems are due to misunderstanding and miscommunication between them. If has offered great insight into the barriers of communication with couples. While it is clear that Men and Women do differ both physically and emotionally, we are bound by love between them. It is love that we see each other as equal and to be same. Human-Human Relationship particularly love relationship is really a complex issue. If we look beyound love relationship to relationship between countries and states, we would found that like men and women the fights and wars are always due to misunderstanding and communication issues. Understanding how men and women think and then translating their actions not only help us to understand why they are certain unforeseen outcomes in love relationship. It also help us to understand our differences in this global villages called Earth and work towards to share our similarities. Copyright 2006 Jason Chew
This article was posted on September 26, 2006
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