Make Your Marriage Better by Staying True to Yourself by Lydia Jansen

My marriage had hit the rocks and I just didn’t understand! I had given our relationship first priority. In fact, when my husband & I were thinking of things to do or places to go, I rarely suggested anything to the contrary to what my husband wanted to do. (I know, it was pretty ‘old school’ of me).

I sought good relationship advice from a variety of sources and tried to do what people had suggested, even if it meant I had to change how I felt about something. But, boy, I was failing miserably in pleasing my husband. I just didn't understand him or what was happening to our marriage.

I even thought that maybe if my husband were to change, our marriage would immediately improve. But, alas, he just wasn't getting around to it! Oh, I know he was a great guy before I married him (and after too), but somehow the spark had gone out of our marriage.

Can you now spot what I was doing wrong in the first few years of my marriage? (Okay, I’ll admit it! It did take me a little bit longer than that before I wised up.)

I suppose it crept into my marriage because I felt that I didn't have what it took to be a good wife. I was trying extra hard to please my husband in order to make him happy.

I discovered I was changing into someone else. Someone I thought my husband would like better! Believe me, change is good. But when you're changing from the person your spouse married into someone else just to please him or her - it's not the smartest thing to do. Duh! After all, my husband would have not asked me to marry him if he didn't like me in the first place!

I actually withdrew myself from our marriage when I just concentrated on what I thought my husband wanted and gave no consideration to myself. That made our marriage weaker. Instead, I simply should have accepted myself as I was and spoke up for my wants, desires and likes and dislikes. Then our marriage would have been strong and equal.

Hopefully, it will not take you as long to discover this or maybe you already knew better! But, if you happen to see a wife who goes around with a long, sour face maybe you could clue her in. Thanks! She doesn't have to lose herself in order to please her husband; in fact, it's best if she finds herself to be the same person as when she got married!

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About The Author

Lydia Jansen is an author who has received her credentials from the School of Life. She first majored in 'what doesn't work' during her early years of marriage. Now, she has switched her major and is working towards her degree of 'what does work'. Ms. Jansen hopes that current students can learn from her experiences and save themselves time and pain. Some of her experiences can be found at: http://www.marriagehope.blogspot.com