Hope for the Hurting Marriage by Lydia Jansen

How are you doing?

Have you heard that question recently and answered with a "uh, okay I guess."

But inside, you winced because you're not okay. In fact, you're in pain. The relationship you are in is causing you more pain than pleasure.

It's weird though, your relationship started out great; in fact, it was wonderful! You can remember how your heart soared, your steps were light and everything was rosy. You were so in love! Now, time has gone by; things have been said and done and the relationship has soured. But you really don't want to give it up because, ironically, you're still in love! You want things back the way they were before or dream of them being even better!

What a tough spot to be in! Believe me, I've been there. I had made the choice to be committed no matter what - and let me tell you, that commitment was sorely tested. Miserable, because I thought I was stuck. I didn't know what to do or where to turn, so I just gave up.

But, thankfully, something buried deep inside me kept on hoping. I thought perhaps there was a way out of my misery so I kept on searching. If you have read this far, you must also have a bit of hope inside you because here you are looking for some answers.

My answer, of course, at first, was that the other person would have to change to improve our relationship. I mean, wasn't it his fault that things were the way they were? But as I searched more and more I realized that perhaps my attitude could be adjusted a little bit (okay, quite a bit).

I discovered that my attitude actually affected my relationship. When I focused on how miserable I was and thought about how rotten things were - our relationship was none too pleasant. But, when I gave that up and focused on something completely different and more productive (i.e. what I wanted to do, what type of person I wanted to be, etc.) our relationship slowly started to change and improve.

Take a minute right now to stop and evaluate where you are at.

How are you doing?

Honest answer now; (even though I know it might hurt).

Are you stuck and don't know what to do? Or, are you moving towards change?

I just wanted to let you know that there is hope! Even if it does seem hopeless.

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About The Author

Lydia Jansen is an author who has received her credentials from the School of Life. She first majored in 'what doesn't work' during her early years of marriage. Now, she has switched majors and is working towards her degree of 'what does work'. Some of her course experiences can be found at http://www.marriagehope.blogspot.com. She is hoping to save students, enrolled in the School of Life, from taking unnecessary classes that could cause them pain.