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Why She Has To "Show Me Something"?
 by: John Alanis

When most men set out to attract a woman, the first thing they want to do is "impress her." They may show up in a fancy car (rented, sometimes) take her to a 5 star restaurant, and "flash the cash" all in the hopes that she'll like him.

One of two things usually happens here. If he flashes enough cash, she'll hang around to spend it all, sucking him dry while she plays around with men she's really attracted to. Or, more likely, she'll just dismiss him as another waldo with more money than brains, and a small self image.

Guys who set out to "impress women" are done before they even start. Why? Because the desire to impress someone is a way of giving authority in the relationship to them, a sure attraction killer with women.

Guys who are successful with women take the opposite viewpoint: if he's going to allow her to spend time with him, she has to impress him. And, she has to continue to impress him.

That's my attitude. If a woman wants to spend time with me, she has to show me something, has to prove to me she's got more going for her than all the ordinary women I could attract. And, once she's spending time with me, she has to continue to show me something, because I'm always "churning the bottom of the roster" looking for a gem.

Is this attitude arrogant? Depends on who you ask. Many guys who are not successful would say it is. People who are successful, however, recognize it as time management, pure and simple.

See, when you have the ability to create attraction, you're in demand. If your not careful, you can waste a lot of time with women who are not suited for you. But if you have the attitude that she must impress you, you'll quickly remove those who are just time wasters, replacing them with those who are worth your time.

Remember, she must impress YOU, not the other way around.

About The Author

John Alanis, "The King of Let 'em Come to You", is author of the "Women Approach You" system at His blog is at

This article was posted on December 14, 2005


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