Christian Dating Advice For Men by Joseph Matthews

Balancing our beliefs and desires is an ever acting characteristic in a humans life, we strive do this all the time.

Speaking to you as someone who's struggled, at times, with his faith and his urges as a man, I believe I have a unique perspective on how the two fit together.

It is natural to strive to stand firm in what we believe and for most Christian men, staying within the boundaries of the church is essential for their experience of love.

One of those boundaries is that sex should only happen once married.

I don't judge this tenant. Some people choose to follow it. I believe this is just as valid as the people who choose not to follow it.

Ancient cultures used to believe that when partaking in sex, a part of the other person's soul would mingle with yours, and that you'd carry that person around with you for the rest of your life.

Keeping your virginity for your wife is a wise choice since this is true in some respects.

But this presents a unique challenge for those men out there who wish to stay true to their faith.

There are a few perspectives to consider when you wish to continue attracting women and then foster your relationship while awaiting the consummation of marriage.

Sex is important after all, since marriage to someone sexually incompatible is a difficult union for anyone.

Here is some advice I've come up with specifically for men who face this issue of romance vs. faith.

1. Clarify your beliefs

Keep in mind that things will be easier when you clarify your beliefs, since it is your faith, which guides you through your life.

We have ability to reason and think and we have free will. It is up to us to check out the options while deciding which path we may follow. You may embrace all the teachings of church or you may choose what you believe.

You must refine and clarify your beliefs and then stick to them, no matter your choices.

2. Trust in the plan God has for you.

Keep your faith that God has a plan for you and the woman you are meant to be with when the two of you are united.

But there is only so much God can do! After all, we are beings of free will, and it is up to us to take action and seize the opportunities God presents to us.

To find the right woman for you, you must be proactive.

Going out to meet women, getting to know them and dating are not things that just happen unexpectedly. You have to make it happen. Your beliefs help you stay on the plan for your life.

3. Understand that virginity is not mysterious or essential.

Sex is simply an act, whether virginity is in question or not. It comes naturally as does walking, talking and breathing. We do these things.

Man was meant to be fruitful and multiply. Sex is one of the greatest gifts we have from God. It is pleasurable because he meant for us to have sex.

So to look at your virginity as something sacred is not helpful. Virginity is meant to be lost - the real challenge is finding the right person to lose it to!

Sex of course is an aspect of spirituality. It is one in which you find the person who makes you feel alive, loved and completed. This is distinct from the sexual act, since it vibrates within a higher level of your soul.

Striving to achieve this type of closeness before marriage is most helpful in determining whether your physical aspects are in tune with a woman.

Do not be afraid to be intimate with women! Kissing, hugging, touching - this is all fine. But sharing your hopes and dreams, staring deep into her eyes and feeling her inner-most desires... that is where true intimacy stems from.

4. Women are real people with no need of a pedestal.

You might be tempted to place a woman on a pedestal when your faith places sex as so important.

You might see her as a delicate flower, or a goddess, or something that needs to be cherished and treated special.

Keep in mind, there isn't much difference in men and women, since we are all cut from the same cloth. Treating a woman special because of a sexual attraction is not the same as respect.

It is easy to love an ideal. But it is hard to love the reality. The woman who gets awnry when she's hungry, the woman who nags you about taking out the garbage, the woman who wakes up in the morning with bad breath - that is the reality.

Being human, we share similar characteristics. We must learn to love the reality of women rather than idealizing them.

You will develop a clearer perspective when you realize that as humans women are just like you in many ways; this helps you to determine if they fit into your life plan.

About The Author

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