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Check Out The Cheater's Checklist
 by: Geoff Davies

Ask yourself these questions

Does your partner spend a lot of time on line?

Do they have other email accounts, do they use the computer after you have gone to bed, have they changed the passwords on your computer, maybe they delete all incoming e-mails when they used to accumulate.

Itís common for a cheating partner to use e-mail to communicate with their lover. Some of the telltale signs in this category may also be an indication of involvement in an on line or cyber affair. Donít take this lightly. These affairs can be as harmful to your marriage as the real thing. Though they may not involve sexual contact, the emotional attachment can be extremely strong, and can quickly progress from cyberspace to physical reality.

Does your home phone ring and when "you" answer it there's no one there.

Illicit affairs depend on repeated contact; many of which take place by phone. These telltale signs of infidelity are relatively easy to find. Some people take the risk of calling their lovers from home or having their lovers call them at home.

Check your partnerís mobile phone, look at the call log, incoming, outgoing, missed and deleted calls. Check the messaging, texts in and out and deleted

Does your partner have little or no interest in sex? Or have they changed their sexual habits

Be alert for any type of changes in the frequency or the quality of your sex life together. Most important of all: If you suspect your partner of having an affair, take steps to protect yourself. Do not put yourself at risk from HIV/AIDS, herpes or other sexually transmitted diseases.

Perhaps you find birth-control pills in her medicine cabinet, and you've had a vasectomy or maybe he carries condoms, and you are on the pill.

Take a few minutes to look over your partnerís car; have they removed the kidís stuff or the baby seat?

The car can be a rich source of telltale signs. The glove compartment, car seats (underneath and between), the spare tyre well, under the sun visor, the ashtray, the side pockets or compartments, under the floor mats and other nooks and crannies can reveal a wealth of information .Has the passenger seat in the car has been moved and is not in the usual position.

Do their clothes smell different, like a lover's perfume or aftershave?

Has your partner recently started working late or has to attend lots of late meetings?

Business is commonly used as an excuse to account for large blocks of time away from home. Partners often use their jobs as a cover for extramarital affairs. Your partnerís work habits will undoubtedly change as the affair unfolds.

Affairs generally require a considerable amount of time. There are only 24 hours in a day; your partnerís absences will become increasingly more frequent as they try to steal time from other activities.

Has your partner changed their style of clothes i.e.: trying to look younger?

People having an affair (or even thinking about having one) will want to make themselves more attractive. They will begin to enhance his appearance in some way. Be alert for changes in wardrobe, grooming, physical appearance and personal hygiene.

These are usually the most visible signs of infidelity. If they embark on a drastic self-induced makeover, itís probably not for you.

Do they act nervous or fidgety whenever the name of a colleague or friend of the opposite/same sex is mentioned or talked about?

Studies show that we are more likely to have an affair with someone we already know, someone that they come into contact with on a regular basis Ė a neighbour, a colleague, a family friend or business associate.

If youíre observant, you may be able to determine the identity of your partnerís lover by the way they behaves in their presence.

Does your partner hide the credit card bills and banks statements?

Affairs cost money. If your partner has a lover, they will want to wine and dine them entertain and buy the occasional gifts. No matter how carefully they cover their tracks; sooner or later this will be reflected in the family finances. Stay alert for financial signs of infidelity.

Be especially vigilant around the times of the year when gifts are usually exchanged. During the holidays and various other times throughout the year, you may find gifts or cards hidden around your home or in the car. Receipts or credit card bills for gifts may turn up shortly before or after Christmas and Valentineís Day.

About The Author

Geoff Davies is the Webmaster of Infidelity Resources.

Please visit his website at or contact him at [email protected]

This article was posted on November 18, 2005


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Disclaimer: The information presented and opinions expressed herein are those of the authors
and do not necessarily represent the views of and/or its partners.

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