Finding the G Spot: A Guided Exercise
We are often asked for help in finding a woman’s g spot. To support you around this, we’ve created a simple, easy exercise that takes about an hour. Be sure to try it when you have space and time to do it fully.
You’ll notice that much of this exercise deals with the time and set up BEFORE you actually try to find the g-spot. This is intentional. It is so important that a loving, intimate space be created. It is only through this that your lover’s g spot will come “out to play”. (if you’re old pro’s – we’re assuming you already have your own short-hand around all this, so we’ve written this for beginners, though there are likely tips here that you will also find useful)
Time Needed: Approximately 1-1.5 hours, preferably in the late evening, an hour or two after dinner
Steps to Prepare:
1) try to sleep well the night before and eat well the day you plan to do the exercise. being well rested and “clear” in your energy is helpful
2) plan to have a light healthy dinner, and don’t eat until you are full. We want you both to have light, clear energy and eating a large complex dinner can work against this
3) after dinner, set your partner up to enjoy a nice drink, good music, a book, etc. for about an hour. If at all possible, I recommend running a bath for your partner, so she can feel pampered, be opened up by the warmth, and feel clean and ready for what’s in store.
4) during this time (while she’s in the bath, or quietly reading, etc.) excuse yourself to do final preparation to your play space (you could have also done this earlier ... its just important, if possible, to set this up without her having seen it – so it feels like you’ve created a special sacred place for her)
5) some helpful things for setting up a sacred space: candles, incense, special sheets/pillows, sexy mood music, massage oil, lube, etc. Also, set up the area where you’ll be working with your partner – it could be on your bed, on a massage table, on cushions on the floor, etc.
6) change into loose, lightweight clothing (or even a bathrobe, sarong, or a towel) – really anything that you will be comfortable moving around and doing massage in
7) if you can’t do all these steps – don’t worry! just breathe, smile, open your heart and have fun.
Getting Started (5 – 7 minutes):
1) Invite your partner into your play space – and ask her to lie down in the space you’ve set up for her. In attitude and tone – you want to show that you’ve gone out of your way to set up safe, sacred space for her
2) In whatever way you feel its most appropriate, express your appreciation to your partner – thank her for all she does for you, for her loving nature, and for her willingness to share and explore her g-spot with you. It is a rare and intimate gift.
Massaging Your Partner (30 minutes):
1) Massage your partner, slowly and sensually for 10 – 15 minutes on each side. The intention of this is to create intimacy and connection between you, and to further relax your partner. It also helps her open into your touch and become more receptive. Its very important during this massage that you not touch her clitoris or vagina.
2) Long, sensual strokes that include her butt, and breasts are encouraged, as are: kisses to the back of her neck, light sex talk in her ear, nipple biting/blowing, etc.
3) Remember – there is nowhere to go, nothing else to do – just ENJOY. Your partner will enjoy you as you enjoy touching her.
Amping Up the Energy (5-10 minutes):
1) Now that your partner is feeling relaxed (and likely just a touch turned on!) you can begin to entice her further. This could include: kissing, nipple sucking, yoni massage, toe sucking, clitoral stimulation, etc. (I’m sure you get the idea : ) The main thing is to keep taking it SLOW, and don’t go inside her yet. This will likely feel very strange for you if you are used to just touching so you can have sex and orgasm. In this exercise, you are not going to be having sex – and your touch and play is so your woman gets super HOT and AROUSED. Again, do not go inside her yet!
Finding The G-Spot (10 minutes)
1) At this point, we’ll assume your partner is aroused, and hot, and begging for you to be insider her. If this is the case – WELL DONE! If not, continue your play using the above steps until that’s the case
2) Get situated so that you are both comfortable. For this next part you will be inserting your finger’s into her vagina, as well as touching her clitoris. Sometimes you can do this sitting at her side, or you can also kneel between her knee’s.
3) Take time to get yourself comfortable. Talk to your partner, ask her and sort it out. Don’t be shy – you will be in this next position for 20 minutes, and want it to be comfortable – and a few extra minutes now are well worth it
4) Slowly insert your finger’s into your woman’s vagina and massage her from the inside. Play with her shallowly, deeply, at the back wall, in the front wall, etc. Take it slow, use saliva or lube to keep everything wet (you can never have too much lube!), and Enjoy.
5) WOMEN: It is important, during this part of the exercise, that you and your partner be communicating about what you like, what you’d like harder / softer / more of / less of / etc. This is an exercise to LEARN – and your partner needs your feedback and advise to be given verbally and explicitly throughout. Trust us – its worth practicing and pushing through any discomfort you might have.
Stimulating the G-Spot (15 - 20 minutes)
1) Now, its time to begin stimulating the g-spot. Insert a finger (or two), about 2 inches, and then slightly crook them. You want your finger’s facing forward, sorta like you are making the motion of “come here” with your fingers. You’ll be touching the front side of her vagina, with your finger’s wrapped around her pubic bone.
2) From this place, experiment with a variety of pressure – hard, soft, light, etc. We’ve found its often best to start touching as if your finger’s are windshield washers – with a constant pressure, sorta going back and forth
3) [WOMEN: Give your partner feedback about what feel’s good, and what doesn’t – help them learn how to drive you wild in bed... Its well worth it! You can also experiment with clenching your PC muscle to see if this heightens your sensations]
4) You may feel a particular area which is more rough than other area’s, possibly ribbed or bumpy. This is the g-spot. As you stimulate it, the gspot will often become larger and more present as it get engorged. At this point, some women prefer harder pressure, but most prefer softer pressure (so the opposite of the clitoris)
5) Once you’ve found the gspot, and have a way of touching the area that your partner is enjoying, add in some stimulation to her clitoris. You can also push down with your hand on her pubic bone by placing your palm in the middle of her pubic hair. This accentuates your pressure from inside.
6) A magic combination is to touch the gspot with your index and/or middle finger while stimulating her clitoris with your thumb (good lube helps this greatly). Now, while you are doing this, imagine an arc of electricity going between your fingertips – connecting your thumb and your finger – and arcing through her clitoris and gspot.
7) At some point in this women, you may find you feel like you have to pee. If this happens, don’t worry. Nothing is wrong – just stay relaxed and go with it. (you may be in for a fun surprise and an introduction to female ejaculation!)
8) If you don’t orgasm from this exercise, don’t worry! It’s main purpose was to help you learn more about finding the gspot, how to best stimulate it, and to build intimate connection and trust with your partner. It can often take several repeats of this exercise to start feeling your gspot.
9) [VARIATIONS: try stimulating the gspot during and after orgasm, try different pressure, strokes, angles, etc.. try it with one hand, two hands, you touching the clitoris, while your partner focuses on your gspot, etc. try using a pilllow or two under your butt to change your angle. Most of all – experiment, give feedback to each other, and enjoy yourselves]
Wrapping Up (5 minutes)
1) At some point – either after orgasm, or otherwise – you’ll feel the energy shift and it will be time to wrap the exercise up. At this point slowly and gently place one hand cupped over your partner’s vagina, and one hand open on her heart. Look into her eyes, and take a moment just to be present with each other.
2) Take a moment to breathe together, and enjoy what you’ve just experienced. Use the next 5 minutes to share about your experiences – what you enjoyed, what you most liked, what felt good, etc. Its always important to start with the positive. After this, you can think about what you’ll do differently next time.
And, that folks, is the end of our Guided Exercise for Finding the G-Spot. We hope you've found it as helpful as we have.
This article was posted on October 28, 2005
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