Do I Have to Go to My Prom? by Kelly Jones

Dawn Asked:

Hello. OK here is my situation: I have been trying to decide for a long time whether or not I should go to my schools prom. We only have 50 something kids in our grade, and I don't like a lot of them, and I didn't think it would be fun to be stuck in a fancy environment with these few people, dancing with them and everything. I think that instead of bonding, I would feel uncomfortable.

Right after I had decided not to go, a friend from another school asked me to his, and I said yes. I'm excited about that because I really like him and the boys from his school, and I won't feel out of place since I know a bunch of them, and half the people there will be from outside of the school anyway since it's an all boys school. Anyway, my friends were relentless and said that I have to go to mine as well, to be with the grade one last time although I'll see them at the senior dinner, graduation, etc so that's not even true, and because I don't have anything better to do. Well maybe I don't, but that's not the point.

I invited a friend from outside of school, but we didn't finalize it yet or anything because he might not be allowed, and now I am regretting asking him and saying that I'd go at all. Even though a bunch of people are bringing dates from outside of school, I feel like people are making a big deal out of it. One girl said she can't wait to see what my date looks like (she didn't say she wanted to meet him, she just wanted to know what he looked like randomly), and another who I hardly know told one of my friends to take a picture of him when she met him. So the deal is that I think he'd be uncomfortable in that environment, and I think I would be too. So I don't want to bring a date from outside of school for that reason, I don't want to be like everyone else and pair up with a random school boy I don't know/like just to have a date, and I don't want to go alone although I know it's okay to, since everyone will have dates and I'll feel left out.

I also don't feel comfortable dancing with/around the people from my school since they're so judgmental. I'm really sorry to make this so long, but I needed to talk to someone about it. My best friend is hounding me to go, and I will ignore her in the end if I have to, but I can't find anyone to talk to because my whole school is so obsessed with it. Please give your opinion on what I should do, and how I should handle my friends depending on whatever I choose to do. Thanks so much.

Blushgirl Says:

I am not going to tell you what to do. It seems like everyone around you is already doing that and the last thing you need is another person trying to control your actions. From your letter, it is clear to me that you do not want to attend your prom. If this is how you really feel, then why put yourself or your date through an uncomfortable situation? I can understand why your parents want you to go. They are likely remembering their proms, and they don't want you to miss out on an important event. Unfortunately what they seem to be forgetting is that you are not them and maybe going isn't the right thing for you.

As I see it, you have several options. You could go to your prom and be uncomfortable. You and your date could make an appearance at your prom for just a few minutes, then leave and do something you would rather do. Or, you and your date could forget about the prom all together and just spend the evening doing something you would enjoy more.

The first option is probably not going to be your best choice. You clearly do not want to attend your prom so why put yourself through a whole evening of discomfort? Your other two choices are clear. If you think that you could stand making a VERY short appearance at your prom, and leaving after a few minutes, then that might be your best solution. This would certainly make your parents and friends happy. But wait, your first consideration here is what will make YOU happy.

I know it is difficult when the people who love us try to control what we do. They are doing this out of love for you, but it can be difficult just the same. This is your prom, your night, and your life. You are the only one who can make this decision. You will spend the rest of your life making decisions that will affect how you feel, act and relate to others and situations. We all have to face this daily. My point is, make the decision that is best for YOU. Don't worry about what other people want you to do. Search your heart and you will know what to do. Trust your feelings and instincts. As far as handling your friends, simply tell them how you feel, and the decision you decided on, and leave it at that. You don't owe them any further explanation. It is your decision, and your life.

I spent a lot of years trying to please other people and I was always miserable. I wasn't doing what was best for me; I was trying to make others happy. When I finally started doing what was best for me, I found happiness. Only you can decide what makes you happy and comfortable. I am not telling you not to go to your prom, and I am not telling you to go. Instead I would like to ask you to spend a few hours alone, thinking about what is best for you. Then make your decision based on what you want, and not what everyone else wants. This is an important event in your life. Choose to do what you will remember fondly. If that means spending it doing something else, then that is fine. Make your own memories, just like your parents made theirs. Then in a few years when you look back, you will smile, because you will have done what was best for you. I wish you all the luck, joy, and happiness life has in store for you. - Kelly

About The Author

Kelly Jones

Would you like to find out how you can easily learn and apply EFT in your own life? Are you ready to start a new life with a renewed sense of purpose and direction and find the person of your dreams? Then let Kelly introduce you to this breakthrough technique: http://www.blushpersonals.com/recommends/eft_videos