Parenting Young Adults -- A Psycho-spiritual Approach by Sharon Shore

The pitfalls of parenting children about to leave the nest can look like a gaping canyon at times. Are they really ready to be launched into the world so soon? Into that apartment or job, school, marriage or whatever it might be? We can not baby proof the world for them no matter how strong the urge. They are taking those first wobbly steps and, this time, we can not be there when they fall, which they will do.

I have experienced the feeling of disappointment with my children. It throws failure smack in your face with a living walking example of our main creation. Its like life held up a mirror and there is a lot of anger and depression that can accompany that reality.

We have this vision of success for our children. A vision of what we hopefully have empowered them to hug close to their hearts. When our children venture “out” and they appear to have forgotten to bring that vision with them, don’t loose heart.

I believe that the hardest age for any child is when they try and individuate their identity. They have to create that space between themselves and our selves, so they can see who they are. We have to let them do this. No matter how scary or infuriating. No matter what. Unless we want them to live inauthentic painful lives. Sometimes I look at my children and see their amazing gifts talents and potential. I know they will eventually use these gifts to elevate their little corner of the world. In their own time, in their own way. G-d sometimes needs to be in the driver’s seat, even when we don’t like the route He’s taking us on.

The greatest gift I give my children is the clear message that I am a work in progress. That you never stop growing, no matter what. We must live our lives as people as well as parents we will never stop striving to refine and elevate ourselves. Their inheritance is this expectation. What message are you giving your child? What does the mirrors reflection that you hold before his face look like? Don’t waste precious time being bummed out. Just keep shaping it.

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