Eight Fired U. S. Attorneys Asked If Gonzales Should Stay by Tom Attea

In a rare turn of events, in which the victims of political nonsense get to have their day in court, the eight U. S. attorneys who were fired under the watch of Attorney General Alberto Gonzales have been asked to decide if he should stay on the job.

When asked how they might vote, one of the attorneys said, “I always like to give the guy who fires me a chance to keep his own position.”

Another one noted the testimony by the Attorney General’s chief of staff, Kyle Sampson, that Gonzales coordinated the evaluations of the 93 attorneys “to see where changes might be appropriate.”

“I think firing me was inappropriate,” the ousted attorney maintained. “And I think it’s only fair for Attorney General Gonzales to enjoy a fate that’s just as inappropriate.”

A third member of the dismissed U. S. attorneys struck a more sympathetic note. “I don’t think Albert Gonzales should allow himself to be a victim of the sort of political witch hunts that have become all too common. I think he should stay on until he himself realizes what a relief it is not to be part of the current administration.”

Given the widespread sentiment of the eight attorneys about their firing, there seems little doubt that they will come down on the side of handing Gonzales the pink slip. With eight to choose from, they certainly have a ready supply.

Yet they must face the fact that Gonzales believes that, as the first attorney general of Mexican descent, he cannot, for ethnic reasons, resign. To bolster his position, he said, “"At the end of the day, I know what I did. And I know that the motivations for the decisions I made were not based on improper reasons. I was simply making it easier for these eight attorneys to take a vacation in Acapulco."

About The Author

Tom Attea, humorist and creator of http://NewsLaugh.com, has had six shows produced Off-Broadway. Critics have called his writing "delightfully funny," "witty," with "good, genuine laughs" and "great humor and ebullience."