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Bush Claims Approval Rating At All Time High; His Wife Told Him  by: Tom Attea Why is President Bush unconcerned about his approval rating, which has now sunk to 33%? He’s certain it’s at an all-time high. How does he know? He asked his ever-faithful wife. For instance, here is the transcript of a discussion with the reliable spouse that was leaked to the press by their ever-attentive dog. “Laura, I’m feeling a little down today.” “Why, George?” “I guess the mood just goes with how I’m feeling about my approval rating.” “What approval rating?” “You know, the one that’s not as high as it used to be. I try not to care, but – “ “– Poor Georgy-Porgy, I can’t bear to see you feel so low.” “Then, please, cheer me up.” “Did you say ‘up’?” “Yes, dear. Whisper in my ear once again those sweet words only you know how.” “Of course, dear.” “Then tell me, how is my approval rating?” “It couldn’t be higher.” Really? Tell me more.” “It’s so high I can’t tell you.” “Really? How do you know?” “Because I approve of you.” “Thank you, Laura. I needed to hear that. But do you just approve of me? Or do you approve of me more than you ever did?” “How could you doubt me? Of course, I approve of you more than ever.” “Wow, what a high. I’m feeling better already. Still, sometimes I can’t help thinking that things over in Baghdaddy aren’t going as well as I’d like.” “I know, dear. But how can you be blamed for what’s going on way over there. How were you to know those idiotic Iraqis would decide to destroy their own country? All you wanted to do is free them from that awful dictator your dad decided not to free them from when he was at the doorway to Saddam’s palaces.” “No way I could ever have guessed what kind of stew I was jumping into. And to think: all I wanted to do is implement freedom, democracy, and other more or less Western values.” “You only had intentions that should score high in the polls.” “You’re right, Laura. And intentions are what count. To heck with results. They’re a darn nuisance. I’m feeling better already.” “I’m so glad, sweetheart.” “So tell me, Laura, just to make me feel 100%. Is my rating with you at an all-time high?” “Yes, George, it is. And just to prove it, look.” She held up her hand as high as she could, pointed to it, and said, “Hi.” “That high?” “Even hi’er.” Then she stood up on her toes and, reaching till her arm hurt, said, “Hi, hi, hi-er still!” “Thanks, Laura. That looks like higher than ever to me.” About The Author Tom Attea, humorist and creator of http://NewsLaugh.com, has had six shows produced Off-Broadway. Critics have called his writing "delightfully funny," "witty," with "good, genuine laughs" and "great humor and ebullience." This article was posted on October 16, 2006   View More Videos from the "Humor" category: Jump Backs Made Simple - GE 45 Jeffrey Ross Talks About I Only Roast the Ones I Love JibJab CEO on the Difficulty of Mocking Obama Interview with Comedian David Hemstad   Read More Articles from the "Humor" Category: George Bush’s Secrets to Better Golf by Karen Fish Cereal Killers Must Be Stopped by Tom Attea Suicide Bomber Arrives At Entrance To Paradise At Same Time As Victims by Tom Attea Amnesty International Grants Stay Of Execution To Victims Of Terrorism by Tom Attea Feisty Candidates Spar for November 8th Votes by Alexis Vain Al-Qaeda In Hell, Or Allah’s Surprising Ingratitude by Tom Attea Urgent Search For New Islamic Sect, Called Smiley Muslims by Tom Attea Riddles That Make You Smile by Steve Gillman The Invention Of Sex; An Eyewitness Account Part One of The Invention of Everything by Tom Attea PBS Fires Cinderella; Calls Display Of Bare Foot Scandalous by Tom Attea << Back to "Humor" Index

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