How To Cope as a Working Mum by Debby Webby

More and more mums are having to return to work these days after starting a family, some return for financial reasons, others because they have missed being in the work place and enjoy being back at work. I fit into the financial reasons category but which ever one you fit into we all come across the same hurdles.

Most of us would be very lucky to be able to afford live-in nannies or cleaners, but as most of us can't, sole responsibility of the day to day running of your family and house falls to the mother and a father if you’re lucky.

I can now consider myself a modern mum who is attempting to work, clean, cook, wash, iron, pay bills, shop, change nappies and run around after my partner all on a daily basis and that’s not taking into account all the emotional issues I have because I have to leave my son when I go to work.

So how do we manage????

No I’m not a super mum and managing doesn’t come easy, it takes a lot of planning. Here are a few tips I have picked up to share and hope that this article may help at least one mum slow down. A burnt out mum is not a happy mum, which has a knock on effect to the rest of your family.

Tip 1 - Firstly, in my eyes the most important tip TAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF, if all day every day you spend working and running around doing your chores you will soon become very unhappy and extremely tired, so if you ever want to attempt to be on top of things at home you must take time for yourself. I set aside at least one hour per evening which I call “mummy time” its always when my son is in bed so I wont be disturbed and I'll either have a long warm bath, chat to other mums on a parenting forum, or read, this could be any activity but it must be something you enjoy. If you don’t already do this, try it for a week and see how much better you feel.

Tip 2 – DELEGATE or MAKE a ROTA - Another favourite of mine. I'm luckier than some as I have a partner at home and with constant kicking is available to provide some help. So we came up with the plan to do a rota, one night I will cook and partner will wash up, the following night we will swap, then one night I take my son to bed, the following night partner does. Whatever type of rota you do, make sure you stick to it and the benefits will start to show. "Delegating" - well I love that word, if you need some breathing space get someone else to do your chores for you.

Tip 3 - LET YOUR STANDARDS SLIP. Does it really matter that your cleaning skills are not up to scratch and that you haven’t vacuumed for two days? In my eyes NO it doesn't matter, there is no way you can fit in your old cleaning routine with now raising a child and working so don't even try. My cleaning has taken a serious beating but I've learnt to live with it and just make sure I clean and tidy well when I have visitors.

Tip 4 - DONT FEEL GUILTY. Stop reading and listening to reports of people who say working mums are bad mothers and that you are doing wrong by your child for working. There is no right or wrong here.

Tip 5 - PLANNING. You will often find me sat at my desk at work working out what I need to buy at lunchtime and what I'm making for dinner etc, this may seem premature but it just makes life easier when I get home and it gives me extra time with my family. Why not cook extra and freeze it? So if you have had a bad day you can just reach for the freezer.

Tip 6 - ENJOY. This isn't one I am great at but I am working on it... learn to enjoy work, if you're miserable at work you're going to bring it home with you, this can then stop you from having fun with your family as you're stressing about work.

As I said earlier, whether you are a working mum or stay at home mum there is no right or wrong and there are pros and cons for both, it's the time that you spend with your child that's important not the time you spend away from them.

I spent ages being jealous of mums that can stay home while I’m out working but that doesn’t help. It just makes me miserable, so now I just get on with work and love the time Jake and I spend together.

I hope some of these tips help and remember……DON'T STRESS, YOU'RE DOING JUST FINE

About The Author

Debbie Webby writes articles for http://www.justformumz.co.uk. Read more parenting tips and parenting advice at our fun, friendly community.